Nov  10 2020

The Magic of Grace

Clients and Friends, “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.” ~Flavia Weedn, "Flavia and the Dream Maker"

This rich sentiment from a greeting card reflects the complexities and depth of our relationships. How many footprints have touched you? How are you different? Recently, a dear 80-year-old friend shared with me a perspective of decades. Having lost his brother two years ago, he noted how major life challenges enrich us and stay with us — often in ways unnoticed by others who have not had that particular experience — simply because they were big! A death, a birth, a wedding, a move, or a job change are all stressful. And just as the birth of a child changes us, a loss stays with us. We continue to adapt as we are challenged with new life experiences every day. We grow.

It has been said that we are closest to heaven when we are born and when we die. If you have ever spent time around a newborn, or someone in end-of-life, you may have noticed the magic around them. A hospice nurse referenced this space/time as “when grace enters.” What if we were open to the inherent gift in the precious moments of transition, whether birth or death? What if we could ride our emotional rollercoaster and be more fully present to access the gift in the tedious and uncertain days, weeks, or months before the journey begins or ends?

 I have been privileged to be present to the births and the dying of a number of loved ones — most recently my son. Yes, there is elation and grief, joy and laughter, and the weight of helplessness in the moments surrounding all transitions. I think of death as a birth into another kind of life. While each moment of life has a beginning and an end, the intensity of birth and death offer a clearer view of the magic. There is a stillness that moves — an energy presence inviting our participation — and a feeling of gratitude dancing in the multidimensional space of transition. I recognized the grace, the light of heaven, or soul surrounding, and filling, each of those loved ones and myself, and the gift revealed itself to me only because I chose to be fully present. That gift is an expanded awareness of the limitlessness of time and space, and ourselves as a soul/spirit. There are no words adequate to describe what is available when we are able to be present.

“Death is not waiting for us at the end of a long road. Death is always with us, in the marrow of every passing moment. She is the secret teacher hiding in plain sight, helping us to discover what matters most”. ~Frank Ostaseski, "The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully"

Frank invites us to not wait — to welcome everything, to bring our whole self, and to find a place of rest in the middle of it. How do you register the footprints on your heart and integrate the life lessons to find and live your best life? As we go about our busy lives do we ever reflect and seek meaning in the moments, or just try to get through another day? Sometimes our current life situation overwhelms and negates any attempt at self-discovery. Small losses, like missing a favorite show or not finding that needed item at the grocery, happen every day. Acknowledging them may allow us to learn to be more present even in our hectic lives.

 Early next year, I will be offering a new program exploring the gifts inherent in life transitions, and in the small moments. We will journey through the fertile void where grace enters and learn to bring our whole self to it. There is grace in grief, just as there is grace in the ecstasy and exhaustion of birthing a newborn. Look for more information in my next newsletter.

 May we all be guided by the wisdom of our hearts and find support in our shared experience.

Namaste, David